![where were you now where were you now](https://http2.mlstatic.com/D_NQ_NP_968671-MLB44283879794_122020-W.jpg)
Some people who feel shame at having mental health problems might react to this question with a wave of self-disgust, thinking, ‘Oh God, I can’t even pretend to look normal!’ (Whatever ‘normal’ is!) Remember Brandyce, who found being queried about her emotional state in the aftermath of personal tragedy to lead to a reopening of a barely-beginning-to-heal scab? Judge how answering the question will affect youįor some people talking about their inner turmoil, even with a trusted cohort, is painful for a variety of reasons. Would you be up for talking about it with me?” 2. With someone she trusts and wants to talk to, Natasha will say, “ Actually it’s been a really tough week. If the questioner is someone you know is truly concerned about your welfare, your answer depends on your state of mind. When confronted with this blunt question, Natasha, who blogs about relationships and chronic illness at low stress living asks herself, “ Do I wish to discuss my emotions with this person?” How are you doing?” If the person persists, offer, “ Thanks for your concern but I’d really appreciate your respecting my privacy. Let’s talk about something pleasant” or “ I’m hanging in. Some potential candidates for your go-to answer include, “ Lots of people are going through difficult times these days.
![where were you now where were you now](https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000176589801-4o2fdl-t500x500.jpg)
This means give a polite non-answer that makes it clear you want this topic of conversation shut down. Who is the person asking? Is he or she someone you are close to, someone you believe truly cares about you? Or is he or she a casual acquaintance that seems to be asking the question as automatically as one offers “ Gesundheit” after a sneeze?Ī good rule of thumb is if you are unsure this person can be trusted with your intimate secrets and/or you just feel uncomfortable, don’t feel obliged to offer more than a cursory response. Here is a guide to help you handle this question in a way that works for you: 1.
![where were you now where were you now](https://vigilantcitizen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/bieber5.png)
Sometimes your hesitation at admitting you are in an emotionally fragile state is what makes being confronted with this question so torturous.
#Where were you now how to#
Suffering mental health issues-whether situational or chronic-is debilitating enough without worrying about how to handle other people’s curiosity-even when the curiosity is well intentioned. Take one of our 2-minute mental health quizzes to see if you could benefit from further diagnosis and treatment. Worried you may be suffering from a mental health disorder? I felt so stupid, which only added to how wretched I was feeling.” She just wanted an, “ I’m good, you?” kind of response.
![where were you now where were you now](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/q2oT5KsY3Fk/maxresdefault.jpg)
See you later.” Pamela explained ruefully, “It turned out that the person asking didn’t really care. Pamela replied to the question with an honest accounting of her lifelong battle with the blues, only to be met by an uncomfortable laugh and abrupt, “Yeah, life is rough. My patient Pamela’s* experience with being asked “ Are you okay?” during a dark depression led to a different but also disturbing reaction. Brandyce, who is an empowerment coach recalled, “’Are you okay?’ is a question that was asked more times than I cared to count…” The constant reopening of her wound lengthened the grieving process because she felt it important to give an honest, emotional answer, no matter how much doing so cost her. Last summer, for example, Brandyce’s close friend and mentor committed suicide. Sometimes people-even casual acquaintances-are genuinely interested in hearing what’s going on with you and sometimes they aren’t looking for details they’re just being polite. The thing is, when you’re feeling down or in the midst of a personal crisis, responding to someone who greets you with perky, “ Hi, how are you?” can be a difficult question. In my practice as a therapist, I’ve counseled many people over the years who are working through life’s less shiny moments.